Hello my name is Bob I am twelve years old I really love jumping on trampolines but my trampoline broke because I jumped on it too much and then it broke Did I mention that I'm 407 pounds? The doctor tells my mommy to stop feeding me mcdonalds for dinner everyday but she doesn't listen and just tells me to exercise instead. So I told her that I would be able to exercise if I had my trampoline still but it's broken because you feed me so much mcdonalds. That's how I convinced my Mommy to buy me another trampoline. I jump so much on my new trampoline that I'm beginning to develop a parasocial relationship with it It calls me Bob because that's my name and I call it The Trampoline because that's what it is Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because I can hear The Trampoline saying Bob please jump on me I'm really lonely and I need you Bob Sometimes The Trampoline is really needy and annoying because I'm taking a break from it and it's really annoying and won't leave me alone. Once while eating my mcdonalds I said to my mommy The Trampoline is really bored today, and she said Bob are you okay do you talk to the trampoline and I said what do you mean don't you talk to it too and she looked kind of concerned so I said maybe The Trampoline is just shy around you. The next day my mommy decided to jump on the trampoline in a weird display of child-like whimsy maybe she was high or something and she was having fun but then she fell and started crying because she broke her ankle she limped off to her car and drove away When she was gone The Trampoline started laughing and said that felt so good to hurt her and it was laughing so hard that I got scared and ran inside..