This morning, I opened my eyes at 10 something AM, and saw a missed call. I immediately understood what it meant - someone was about to go on some fun outing without me. Last night, I couldn't've possibly fallen asleep before 5:00 AM. So at best here, I'm operating on five and a bit hours. I'd decided to actually get up, being gripped by a sudden inspiration to not waste my life any more than absolutely necessary, and also because I felt like total shit and wouldn't have been able to peaceably fall asleep again.

So I got up, and walked downstairs, where after a few minutes of realizing that I had nothing to do down there any more than I had to do upstairs, I was struck with the strongest spell of faintness I've ever experienced until now. You know that source engine sound that plays when you die? The irregular heartbeat, followed by a flatline? Normally, I would be imagining a sound like that in my head after getting hurt, for comedic relief. This time, I didn't have to use my imagination, because as my vision got dark and fuzzy, my hearing started playing the flatline tone for me. It would have been hilarious, had I not been scared at the time of faceplanting into my kitchen counter.

The weirdest symptom of this was by far the tinnitus-like effect it had on my ears. Of course, just getting ringing in my ears wouldn't have been strange or anything, but instead of just a normal high pitched EEEEEEE, They started producing sounds that I couldn't discern as being real background noise or just a ringing. It sounded like water flowing through a pipe, but coming at you from all sides. I had walked back upstairs after getting a drink of water when this intensified, and I was left genuinely confused at what the hell I was hearing. However, it may actually have just been a pipe - that, combined with what may have actually just been a normal ringing. Idk. At least after all that, I didn't actually pass out. Lesson learned: I shall never rouse myself like a lion ever again. My sleep deprived cardiovascular system will promptly end my life if I do.

Don't be under the impression that I have health problems or anything. I realize the way I framed this makes it sound like something of a regular occurance; thankfully that is not the case.

Other stories as of late: I cheated on a math placement test for my university classes next year. I got into the classes I needed, but at what cost... It isn't my integrity which I mourn, but rather a false impression given to advisers. This is all speaking after the fact, of course, before the scheduling meeting, I was freaking the fuck out over whether I would be caught, having never cheated in so blatant a manner as I had just done. Not only did my score increase by a margin wide enough to fit your mother, I also spent less time in that placement than my first one. So naturally, I was terrified that it would be rejected and I would miss the deadline for scheduling my classes as a result. Thankfully, they didn't realize. The day and a half that I had to wait between taking the test and meeting my adviser was absolute misery. In fact, let me quote something I wrote while waiting for my fate to become known: "EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, A NEW HORRIFIC EVENT OCCURS THAT RAISES THE BAR ON MY DEFINITION OF PAIN. IT’S GOOD IN THE SENSE THAT PREVIOUS THINGS THAT MIGHT HAVE HURT ME NOW LOOK LIKE A WALK IN THE PARK, BUT BAD IN THE SENSE THAT THE NEW PAIN REALLY HURTS AND IS REALLY SCARY. UNPRECEDENTED THINGS ARE TERRIFYING." Wow. I feel bad for my past self. Those words look like the product of an unhappy mind. Maybe it's not such a good idea to confess to academic crimes online, even anonymously, but I've already done similar things before (not cheating, that I'm not really know for. I was just in a time pinch here.) so I may as well bite the bullet and do it again.