Mauhs's blog

I woke up this morning at 12:30 ish. Or rather, I woke up on time and then decided that I wanted to go back to sleep even though I felt rested enough to get out of bed. Why I did this, I'm not entirely sure. Yesterday, I didn't sleep at all - I just chugged some caffeine and sat at my PC binge watching episodes of "Welcome to the N.H.K" while wrapped in a blanket. So it makes sense that I would be tired the next night/morning but I felt fine when I woke up which is why my decision this morning is so confusing to me now.

Anyway I've been thinking about this site and it might be better if I restructured this into something with sections containing just "writings" and a section containing an actual blog, or at least renaming this page to have some kind of indication that it's not just a blog or just rants. I've come to realize that I might actually want to write about my life here as one would on a blog, so I should ideally rename this and move the other things I've written that don't really fit into a blog somewhere else. That also might help add the illusion of depth to this site. Although frankly, I'm already starting to think I should scrap the current aesthetic for something that is only attempting to occupy the space it actualy takes up. If that makes any sense, it probably doesn't.

I say all this about changing my site, but I probably won't for months. I have zero spare time that I actually want to devote towards this right now, because all my spare time comes in relatively small lumps, and for me to be able to work on something like this I need a multi-hour stretch to do anything productive. So it'll probably just stay like this for a while. But the roadmap is something like this: strip site down a little, redesign layout, start using a SSG. Wait, if you replace a term with it's acronym, would you then use "an" instead of "a"? Who the flip knows, or cares. Whatever.

Back to that anime I was watching, "welcome to the N.H.K", I actually really enjoyed it. It has some very R rated moments (uncensored cleavage/other ecchi things) but they are mostly contained in the first few episodes, and the rest of it is normal if it can be called that. I really liked the music; it lent itself to the overall atmosphere so well it basically defined the entire viewing experience for me. I'm not really talking about the openings or endings, I mean just the ambient tracks. The ops/eds were fine, but those damn background tracks have such an emotion to them that fit so well. It felt really... reflective, or contemplative. The menu music of the VN "Class of '09" gave me similar vibes. That feeling is strongly connected in my head to life after high school, because of that game.

Speaking of which, my own time in high school is approaching it's end far faster than I ever could have anticipated. Scary stuff. I have this fear that once it's over, the friends I've had since third grade are going to all go their seperate ways and we'll never have the same kind of familiarity after that. It's happened to me before - after middle school, one of my best friends went out of state for high school and we've barely had any kind of meaningful conversation in the past four years. Once someone's been out of your life for that long, you forget what you would even talk to them about, and it's awkward to reunite. Not just awkward, actually, it's painful because it's like the friendship died. We know each other, but we don't actually know each other anymore. So it's sad.